love's poison

i want to love someone.
i want to feel what everybody else feels.
that extraordinary thing that lets you rebirth
and yet still manages to find a way to destroy you.
that commercial advertisement everyone keeps talking about.
the love. the infinity, the mutual growth and understanding.
i want to love you, that's what i'm demanding.

i want this drug, this particular drug,
the deadliest of them all.
the one that instantly kicks in
and corrodes your veins, just like a wrecking ball.

i crave for this deadly fire,
this breathtaking glimpse of light,
so powerful and so destructive
that it'll make you go blind.

i want adrenaline.
the adrenaline of being committed to another soul,
to another human being to whom you owe yours
and with whom you fight in all the upcoming wars.

i desire pain.
that beautiful and lovely pain,
the one that hurts so much
that you become trapped in its clutch,
just with a simple touch.

i long for beauty.
the beauty of this pure and transparent way of dying.
isn't it true that this is something worth trying?
feeling your life being ripped off by something so worth crying for?

i want delivery and rendition.
i want to be possessed by this cosmic and supernatural force.
one that is so extravagant that it's almost impossible to find its source.

i want dementia.
i want this illness that is corrupting the minds of the sane,
taking over their bodies
and commanding the rest of their brains.

i want you.
the engine that keeps my heart running.
the poison that corrupts my blood.
the pain i feel everytime i wake up
and realize you're not there with me.
what a sad way of living, don't you agree?

i want you.
even if it means the poison ends up killing me.
i guess that being without your love is a more painful way to die,
because that way...
i will never be free.