diagnosis
and i try, i swear i try to leave this world behind me, i'm so tired of even the notion of keeping up and waking up and doing something that requires more than a muscle. i swear i beg everyday to god or whatever is up there watching me suffer to please get me away from this cicle of disappointment and illusion and sadness and fear, i ask everyone but no one seems to be able to fulfill this death wish of mine, this desire to vanish that haunts me in my dreams or when i'm wide awake, it doesn't ever go away, it doesn't ever fade. and it's when i'm most vulnerable that i scream the most, that i cry the most, that i shout to the fucking grey and monotonous skies to please let a thunder upon me so my heart can be electrified and my soul can be invaded by light, but it's so dark right now that it wouldn't probably put up a fight. you know the one thing that momentarily lets me get away from the world? you. it's those 2 minutes i spend with yo